TRUST US

August 10, 2018
By US Desk

I am an ardent fan of your column, because you give good advice to young people.....

I have anger issues

Dear Guru,

I am an ardent fan of your column, because you give good advice to young people. I am 20 years old. I am doing graduation and am in the final year. I am engaged and will be married by the end of this year. I belong to a well-off family and my family is very loving and caring. My parents never scold me and I am quite pampered. Guru, my problem is that I cannot control my anger. I know this is not good for me. Because of my anger, I was almost on the verge of breaking my engagement but then due to elders’ intercession the issue was resolved. My fiancé is a software engineer and he is very soft spoken. He really likes me but he does not appreciate my mood swings. My mother is also worried about me; in fact, everyone around me is really disturbed over my erratic behaviour. My mother says that if I don’t control my temper now it will be very difficult for me to adjust with my in-laws, and it can affect my married life, too. Guru, please help me, I feel like this anger in me is going to affect my future life. How can I keep myself calm and think straight when this raging anger takes over me? What should I do?

Grumpy Girl

Dear Grumpy Girl,

Anger is a common emotion. We all get angry occasionally and to a certain extent it is a healthy sign, but excessive anger is not good for one’s health and mind. Your mood swings tell that you are thoroughly spoiled by your family. You are lucky to have a loving family and a very caring mother who puts up with your tantrums. But when you enter your practical life, nobody will care about your mood swings and then it will hit you badly. So, you better start working on managing your anger issues since you are going to be married in few months’ time. Keep a mental note that if you don’t like something, you won’t react to it. Write on a piece of paper what are the things that really bother you. Take part in physical activities like walking, it will relax your mind or listen to good music to soothe your nerves. Go on a website and read about tips on anger management and ways to control it. I am sure with a little effort you will be able to overcome your weakness, which will be crucial for your peaceful future married life. Good luck!

I am in love with my professor

Salam Guru,

I really like your unique way of solving people’s problems. I am a 22-year-old medical student. I am very good in studies. I belong to an affluent family. My problem is that I am in love with one of our professors, H, who is very handsome and is probably in his early 30s. I am very impressed by his teaching style. He is very graceful. Since I am a pretty girl, I get lot of attention from my male colleagues. But I only crave for H’s attention. Sometimes I miss my lectures deliberately so that I can have an excuse to ask him to give me some extra time. I really love H but I haven’t gathered the courage to tell him about my feelings. I don’t even know whether he is married or single. I think he also likes me as he is nice with me, but he hasn’t said anything in this regard. I am very tensed, Guru. How can I express my love to him? What if he says no? There is this boy in my class, M. He is very much interested in me and wants to send his proposal. But Guru, I am confused. I kind of like him, too, but I am totally in love with my professor. I don’t know what to do?

Shy Girl

Dear Shy Girl,

Well, young girls normally do get attracted by their handsome and graceful teachers. Actually, you are in love with the idea of ‘falling in love’. It’s just infatuation; you see, you don’t know anything about him. If he is nice with you it doesn’t mean that he actually likes you. Usually, it is the requirement for the teachers to be nice with their students. So don’t take his politeness for fondness. And a word of advice: don’t even try to express your feelings. It will only hurt you as it is very clear that the professor is not interested in you. For him, you are just one of his students. So retain your self-respect. Be wise. Why don’t you consider M’s proposal? He is of your age and I am sure he will keep you happy. But there is no hurry. You must get married once you finish your studies. Good luck!

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