Is it okay to be content?
I am a regular reader of Us and love the way you solve peoples’ problems. Guru, I don’t have a grave problem. I am just confused. Actually, I have this belief that if I get success and happiness, nature will counterbalance my happiness by creating some other problem. This mode of thinking keeps me neutral regarding any achievement. So, I remain calm and feel content with the present state of affairs and I do not have any greed for material gains.
However, I think, this belief has made me sluggish. Mental peace is a priority for me right now and I just don’t feel like running for worldly success. I hope I don’t sound like a psycho as many of my friends laugh at me and say I am a loser. To be honest, I don’t want to be a part of any competition or rat race. I am happy in my comfort zone.
I don’t know if my thought process is going in the right direction. Is something wrong with me? Please guide.
Dear Frustrated Khattak,
These days not many people think the way you reflect on life. You have a balanced approach towards life. I assume there is nothing wrong in being content with one’s life as contentment brings mental peace. So many people go to psychologists in a bid to find mental peace. And here you are - happy and content.
My dear, this is your wealth which not many people understand. They run after material gains and at the end of the day search for satisfaction in life. Being content is a God-gifted quality. Finding contentment with the stuff you have and with a simpler life can lead to buying less, to buying things that we genuinely need.
Don’t think of yourself as a loser! Just ignore what your friends say about you. And yes, you have to do something about your laziness; it’s not a good thing. Being content does not necessarily mean to stop working. Set new targets for yourself. If making money is not your priority then do some kind of social or philanthropic work that gives you inner satisfaction and a sense of achievement and a drive to do more. Good luck!
Thank you for writing to me. I am happy that my last advice was useful to you. As for your second problem, I suggest that you be patient. Your parents are right; you shouldn’t have your own mobile phone and laptop. You are only 15 and at an impressionable age. You are vulnerable to all kinds of inappropriate stuff. Your parents know what is good for you, and it is for your own safety.
Don’t feel embarrassed in front of your friends if you don’t have the latest gadgets. You can have them all at the right age. I am also personally against giving mobiles to children.
In fact, you can make good use of your time by reading books and playing outdoor games. Be smart and active instead of becoming a couch potato like your friends. Or maybe you can request your parents to gift you a mobile phone once you get good grades in your exams. I think your parents will be more likely to agree to your request. Good luck!
I am not my parents’ favourite
I am a 13-year-old girl. I have two brothers and I don’t like them as my parents love them more than me. They give them priority in every matter. They take care of me, too, but unfortunately I am not their favourite. I don’t like my parents’ extra attention to my brothers. They take interest in their studies and ignore me most of the time. According to them, I am a good student so I don’t need coaching. I feel sort of left out. I am so upset with my parents. What should I do?
Dear Sad Girl,
Darling, there is nothing to feel upset about. Your parents love you but in our patriarchal society normally parents become biased and give more attention to boys. So you really cannot blame them for giving more consideration to your brothers, because they don’t realise you feel left out. It does not mean they are not interested in you. They take care of all your needs. They trust you as you are already a good student and need no coaching. So, instead of grumbling, look at the positive side. Thank God for having a loving family. And do not feel bad. Stay happy!
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